Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
