peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
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