I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
can u get pink eye on your cock?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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