I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
nutella sex= disaster
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
