You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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