Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
