i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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