Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
