Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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