They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
