Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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