He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
