Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I think i peed on brittanys purse
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
