Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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