I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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