kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
