i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
