I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
