I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
