Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
