no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
