lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize
