people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
