Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
