Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
