I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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