He is an equal opportunity slut.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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