I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
