new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
