The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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