hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
