how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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