Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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