i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
