I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
