one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm at about main and main street
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
