are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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