At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
