I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
