If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
We're too hungover to prance.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
