You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
