haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I met the friendliest cop last night
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Randomize
