Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
