I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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