is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
