why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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