I am spending my child support on dildos
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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