Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
