btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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