true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
