Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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