I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
